Hey there! I’m Tiara, a mom of 2, postpartum doula, and co-owner of Bountiful Doulas. Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I share not just my professional experience as a postpartum doula, but also my personal journey as a mother. I want to share a glimpse into my cesarean delivery and recovery and I hope it might provide you help, guidance and tricks that might resonate with you. 

My Cesarean Story

In Fall of 2015, I went through my FIRST surgery bringing my first beautiful son into this world. Looking back on that day, I will never forget the fear, anxiety, confusion and joy I felt. As an 18-year-old new mom, the first sibling to be pregnant, the first of my friend group to have a kid, I really wasn't equipped with the knowledge or education for the events that occurred. In some ways I really feel like I went through my pregnancy oblivious. I really wanted to have a vaginal birth, I felt pretty confident that I could. If giving birth was so natural, how hard could it really be? I didn't receive the knowledge and didn't educate myself on breastfeeding, laboring positions, interventions, breech babies etc. and truly thought I would be fine. I didn't ever see myself in a position where I would even need a birthing class.

At 39 weeks 4 days along, I went to my OB for an appointment that I had scheduled the day before due to unfamiliar movements. I had felt my little guy wiggling around so much, it felt like he stood up and my belly was then egg shaped. During the ultrasound my doctor performed, we found out he was in fact in breech position with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. After discussing options, we decided on a scheduled c-section happening that following day. I went home with a wave of emotions. That night I packed a few extra things into my hospital bag, let my support system know the new plan and tried to wrap my head around the overwhelming emotions. Did I pack enough clothes? Will I be able to make it up the stairs when I get home? How will my son lay across my stomach to breastfeed? What happens if I can't breastfeed? The questions kept piling up, and the thought of the unknown questions I could possibly have, suddenly I felt extremely unprepared and nervous. 

On the day of arrival, my OB and nurse walked me through the procedure and that helped calm my nerves. I changed into a hospital gown, received an IV line and they hooked me and my belly up to monitors. After some time, the anesthesiologist came in and we talked about what he would be doing and how he will stay on my side of the curtain watching vitals and taking care of me and my pain and discomfort. 

When it was time to go back to the operating room, I was overwhelmed with love and good luck wishes from my loved ones. My recovery room just so happened to be right across the hall from the OR making for a quick walk instead of being taken down in a hospital bed. The nurse on shift that day held my hand and guided me back to the room. She helped me up onto the table where they were going to place my epidural. The panic started to sink in as I was surrounded in a very sterile smelling room full of equipment. I was shaking and asked the nurse when my son's father was going to be in the room, she let me know that they don't allow anyone in during the epidural for sterilization and safety reasons but that he would be in right before the surgery starts. I started to cry, wondering why I didn't know this and wasn't warned? Had I done a little more research and known more outcomes, would I have felt better? The nurse held my hands and comforted me as I sat on the table and  they placed the spinal block. The surgeon, OB, anesthesiologist and my boyfriend all surrounded the table. They put the curtain up and asked me if I was ready to begin. A couple minutes in, I started to feel really anxious and sick. Knowing I was minutes away from meeting my son, I still couldn't shake the feeling. The nausea sank in more and I told the anesthesiologist I was getting sick. While he was putting nausea meds in my IV, I started throwing up. I turned my head back and forth with the discomfort of throwing up and not being able to lean forward, while feeling my abdomen being tugged at. My body from waist down was numb, but because of the breech position the baby's head was near my ribcage making it so I could feel the pressure of them pulling him out. I kept on vomiting bile, started feeling very dizzy and loopy. I let them know and they gave me more medicine. What felt like 30 minutes going by, was only a couple, followed by the most beautiful precious sound I've ever heard. My baby was finally born. The instant relief I felt was indescribable.  He made the grand entrance leaving a nice little poop surprise coming out of me and down the doctors leg! They brought him over to my side of the curtain where I could quickly see him before he was taken for suctioning and to the nursery. I laid there sick and dizzy, hearing my baby cry while getting stitched back up. About 30 minutes later in my recovery room I finally got to hold my son for the first time, truly the best moment in my life. We had immediate skin to skin and soaked up every second. That was very important to me and I felt so sad that it wasn't something I got to do right after he was born. I wish I had the knowledge and education I do now to know that immediate skin to skin after a cesarean is something I could've pushed for and if I advocated for myself, I could have received.

During the hospital stay (which is typically 72 hours), my catheter was removed 24 hours later when they cleared me to start walking around. It seemed impossible but moving around a little bit helps you heal faster!  When I was finally able to walk, I had to have support up and out of bed, on and off the toilet and anything that took abdominal strength/muscles. I couldn't believe the amount of pain I was in. We struggled keeping my pain at a tolerable level, it was the most painful thing I have ever been through. The levels of pain I was experiencing made a lot of things harder and I was so nervous to go home only a couple days later. With the discomforting pain and exhaustion this new life brought, it taught me how important it is to be educated in deliveries and everything that might entail.